You said, You Had to Go
A: “I’ve already cried three times today.”
S: “Girl, I cry every night.”
K: “You guys make me look good.”
Less than a year ago, you called me crying. "I feel like at any moment I might lose either of them, one or the other, or both, and I’m so scared." Your father was dying from cancer, and your boyfriend was unsure of "us". Now, in the depth of another summer, and you’re dealing with life after the loss of both.
One of my closest girl friends decided last week that she was going to move to Shanghai at the end of the month. In a weeks time, she’s going to be on the other side of the world. We’ve been neighbors since I moved three doors down, walking to the bus stop together since the 1st grade. This is going to be an incredible opportunity, an amazing adventure. But for me, this will be, a letting go of sorts. Someone leaving me for a change.
Last week, her aunt unexpectedly passed away. A month before her own son’s wedding. One day she was there, chatting with my mom about the wedding, last minute preparations, and the next, she was gone.
In the middle of this hot summer, it’s been hard for everyone. A summer defined by farewells, mourning, a loss of love, change, death. The theme? How do we move on from here?
How’ve you been today?
Shitty. I feel like shit except for when I’m sleeping.
The hardest part will be, making the choice to let go. That’s the first step. Letting go. Time will take care of the rest. We hope.
In a year and a half you’ll be okay.
Well, it might take you longer.
I don’t know. You might still be cray cray. You checked his Google calendar!
What? I didn’t do anything illegal. That’s nothing. Overall, I’m fine.