This Modern Affair
“Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so high.”-
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The End of the Road
In the months that followed the breakup I found myself going from crazy jealous to almost getting back together to learning how to be alone again to randomly bursting into tears for no god awful reason, it was just the thought of him. I guess that’s how it goes when you deal with a loss.
I’m finally not trying to be a part of his life anymore. I’ve moved from pathetically trying to hold on, to anger, to finally, some semblance of the life that I was able to live, independently, before I was a part of a couple.
How have the past several months been? We’ll call it the loss. The mourning period. Because even though it was my choice, and that’s what confuses people, how are you broken when it was your choice? Just because you give up because you simply can’t see how you can go on that way, doesn’t mean it’s easy, and it doesn’t mean you didn’t care enough.
It’s true though. When you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and you know it’s worth fighting for, you do. And I didn’t. Maybe because I felt like I was in the fight alone. Maybe because I realized I couldn’t change anyone, and you’re supposed to be able to love someone and be happy without needing them to change for you, aren’t you? I couldn’t ask him to be someone else to keep me happy, to keep me.
I’ve finally stopped the god awful crying. And that’s all I can say about that.
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Notes Bang With Friends
Who needs Match.com when you have Facebook? A database of potential hook-ups, whom you’ve already encountered over the course of your life, so you’re pretty sure they’re not psychos out to murder you. The creators of “Bang With Friends” are trying to bank on the simple idea of friends with benefits, writes Glamour.
When you sign in, the app conveniently pulls up all your male friends on Facebook. So for people who prefer the same gender, the app currently is not built for that, unless you change your own gender on Facebook. Choose someone you’d like to bang, or choose them all.
If he’s chosen you too, you’ll get an email! Sex, delivered right to your inbox.
Our thoughts? FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS HAS NEVER WORKED AND WILL NEVER WORK. Whether it’s an agreement in “real life” or an unexpected match over the Internet.
How strange is it, to get an email notification that someone is ready to bang you? What if he was just joking around and clicking every girl on his list to see who was a match? Or worse, what if he’s serious? But didn’t have to balls to ever approach you in real life….or even a message over Facebook? Can you imagine how awful the sex would be with someone who couldn’t even be bothered to attempt conversation over any other medium?
I do not have a “Justin to my Mila (Kunis)” anywhere in my social circle, and if he was there, I would’ve tried to bang him already and things would’ve been horrible and we’d no longer be friends. One of my guy friends used to solicit me and be like “I think we should hook up — just once. It would be really good. I promise.” I. WAS. MORTIFIED.
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Your Definition of Love
There are certain aspects of relationships which are never a question of blame, but always a question of hurt. When we love someone who doesn’t show their love in the same way — who can’t quite understand the things we need from them — it will always feel like a terrible defeat, even if it is no one’s fault.
A terrible defeat. That’s how it felt. I wanted to tell him that I fell out of love because it hurt too much to stay in. It was fight after fight because he didn’t understand — we were so different that he simply didn’t understand why things would upset me the way they would. To him, I was overreacting over something that didn’t mean anything. What did these things matter — never Liking your photos on Instagram, a lack of photos of us online, never saying I Love You, never saying I Miss You because who misses each other when they see each other all the time, never meeting his parents. On the former, it’s just social media, what’s the big deal? On the later, that was who he was.
We have had the family member whom we often saw through a wall of our own inability to comprehend one another, with whom communication was always occurring on two very disparate wavelengths that the other couldn’t tune into. It’s a fact of life, but that doesn’t make it any less sad when it happens.
“We’ve had the lover who just didn’t enjoy spooning, with whom it always felt like something of a personal insult when you were relegated to separate sides of the bed. “
I almost cry when he doesn’t kiss me on the forehead when we wake up nowadays, she said.It’s incredibly difficult to be in a relationship when two people communicate their emotions on different wavelengths. Because sometimes it gets to the point where, you simply have no idea how to explain things on the wavelength that will reach them. And at that point, saying, that’s how he is, just becomes too much for forever. It becomes, communication between two people who speak different languages.
The truth is that there will be a million people in your life who actually don’t love you, whose dismissal of your feelings or tendency to ignore what you want are rooted in genuine apathy. They are everywhere, and make navigating our emotional lives even more complicated. But there are also many people who do love us, and who want to show us, but just may not be able to do it in the way we most want to hear. And it’s important to distinguish between the two, to look at the things people are actively doing for us and take account of the things we’re lucky to have in them. Because we are lucky to have love — in any of its forms — and no way of saying “I love you” should be forgotten about.- Thought Catalog
When it’s no one’s fault, it’s hard to let the past go. It’s hard to let it go because sometimes, even months after the end, sometimes you’ll still find yourself wanting desperately for them to understand why it all fell apart. Because they never got it. And something as stupid as him commenting on some girl’s Instagram post will make your stomach twist in knots, over the reminder of how he could never do that for you, and it’s ridiculous. But it will remind you of every other reason why it all fell apart — it wasn’t simply a lack of a Like on a status.
At what point do you decide between continuing to try to figure out the other person’s language, or letting them go because your own feelings can’t handle it anymore? And if you choose to let go, at what point do you let go of the frustration and anger for the person who never understood? But he loved you. He’s adamant about it. And you knew it. But it wasn’t enough. And at the end, he won’t understand why it wasn’t enough for you. -
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Charlie: ...she's threatened. You have to try to understand that. Marnie: She's not intimidated by me. Why would she be. I'm a hostess. I don't know what the next year of my life is going to be like, at all. I don't know what the next week of my life is going to be like. I don't even know what I want. Sometimes I just wish someone would tell me, this is how you should spend your days, this is how the rest of your life should look. She's not intimidated. -
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Notes"If I decided what I was going to do in college—when there was no Internet, no Google, no Facebook … I don’t want to make that mistake. The reason I don’t have a plan is because if I have a plan I’m limited to today’s options.” -Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO"“A Woman’s Place”- The New Yorker (This is why I hate the “in 5 years time” question!!)
(Source: courtbean)
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After The Break-Up
Q: I was depressed for six months. I cried in a grocery store, but I had to get groceries because I had to eat. I lost 15 pounds. D: I can't even eat anymore. I was in my car, and I just started crying. C: I thought I'd be over it by now, but guys just seems like a waste of time. I get sucked in these moments of overwhelming sadness, loneliness. D: We were getting ready to go out the other night. And you know how getting ready to go out is supposed to be fun? But we didn't even have any music on. We were just putting on make up and saying things like, "god, why am I so depressed? Should we even go out?" Q: Being alone is hard. D: I drive in silence. I lay in bed, and I can't even watch television shows because we watched a lot of TV together. I can't finish the shows. C: I couldn't watch the show we used to watch together for a month. Until I had to because the website only had up to five back episodes online at a time. C: The first month wasn't hard. But now it is. D: Yea, it wasn't hard initially. He'd call or text and it was just, ignore, ignore. But then, he stopped and it was, "why isn't he stalking me anymore? He's not stalking me as much as I had thought he would've." I really think he's done. C: How long does this last? D: I just want to lay in bed and not move. We're pathetic. -
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Notes“How could you think you’re in love with me? You don’t even know me!”
-Felicity, Pilot
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Soulmates
— Ew. I would not taint my soulmate. He’s not meant for hooking-up with. — You don’t want to sleep with the one that matters. Somehow that makes perfect sense. 9/10/10 -
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Pat: The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday, thats guaranteed, and I can’t begin to explain that, or the craziness inside myself and everybody else but guess what? Sunday is my favorite day again. I think of everything everyone did for me and I feel like a very lucky guy.
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence
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Notes"I’m not here to cause any trouble. I know you have a girlfriend, but I just need to sleep next to someone tonight."Girls, Season 2, Episode 1
The way things have felt lately.
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